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Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Dr. Bill Grange

Dr. Bill and Mary Grange are celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary.

Their children - Mary Beth, Jim, Tom and Cass - will arrive with their families from various parts of the country, and Bill and Mary have invited all their friends to the Grand Island reception as well. Still, the Granges do not expect a large turnout.

Dr. Bill and Mary Grange (photo by Connie
Swanson Photography)
"Who would come?" Dr. Grange shrugs.

Three hundred people, that's who. Old friends, young friends, church friends. Their plumber will come. The guy who took care of their lawn and the woman who cleaned their house will come. Many of Dr. Grange's patients from his 45 years in optometry practice will come.

Everybody will come.

It is a chance to show Bill and Mary Grange what they have meant to the Grand Island community all these many years and to celebrate the life of a remarkable couple.

Sixty-five years ago, a young Bill Grange asks Mary to dance with him for the first time at Northern State University in Aberdeen, South Dakota, where they are both students. He has been warned, as have all the other boys on campus, not to have anything to do with the beautiful Mary Matthews.

"She's stuck up," a brazen local athlete, who has been politely spurned by Mary, tells the others. "Don't anybody call her."

In spite of the dire warning, or perhaps because of it, Bill is determined to ask Mary for a dance. She accepts.

 He cracks jokes. She laughs uproariously. They leave, steal the brazen athlete's car, and light out for an evening of joy riding.

"I didn't drive too well," Bill remembers now.

"Oh, we just had the best time!" Mary laughs.

They fall in love and eventually plan to be married. But Mary is a devout Catholic, and Bill is not.

"I don't know anything about being Catholic!" he tells her. "I don't even know how to play Bingo!"

Sixty-five years, five children and 14 grandchildren later, Bill is still cracking jokes, and Mary is still laughing. Bill, incidentally, is as devout a Catholic as they come and a long time member of St. Leo's Catholic Church in Grand Island.

"He still is the focus of my life," Mary says, "and my best friend."

Bill says he and Mary are a team. Mary's always had time for him and listened to his troubles. "We've had a wonderful life, haven't we, Love?" he says to her. He insists that Mary's wisdom and intuitive nature are responsible for their happy home and their happy children. Mary, however, has always relied on Bill's strength, steadiness and engaging sense of humor. Whatever their secret is, the two have brought their family through some dark times.

In 1974, their handsome, oldest son Jack, only 21-years-old, will die of cancer. He lies on a hospital bed in the dining room of the Grange house, and Bill understands it is a gift that Jack can be home surrounded by his parents and brothers and sisters.

Mary sits beside her son. "If only I could take your place, Jack," she says in anguish one day.

Jack shakes his head. "You're needed here," he tells his mother. "I've accepted this thing."

Never once, Bill recalls, does Jack ever ask, why me? "He was wise beyond his years," Bill says about his son.

Afterwards, Bill and Mary urge their other kids to talk about Jack and help them to heal. But afraid of hurting one another, the two are careful never to burden each other with their own terrible grief.  At a Catholic Marriage Encounter weekend, however, as spouses are asked to confide in each other by writing letters, Bill and Mary at last pour out their sadness over Jack. It is a turning point in their marriage, and finally they are able to get on with the business of living.

There are other tragedies. Their son Tom's infant daughter, Mary Cathryn, dies of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome when she is only a few months old. The Granges rally again.

"Our faith and Bill's strength have carried us through those times," Mary says.

Perhaps it is because of those great losses that Dr. Grange reaches out to people so easily. Most would agree, however, that it is simply his innate nature to do so. He is kind and funny and uncannily gifted at putting all people at ease.

"He really is just as nice as everybody says," Mary beams proudly.

Retired from his optometry business and living with Mary at Riverside Lodge Retirement Community, Bill has learned to adapt to his new life. He volunteers his time at the Grand Island Literacy Council and has been recognized by the Grand Island Independent for his work there.

"The World's Oldest Tutor", as he refers to himself, meets frequently at the city library to help his students read and speak the English language. He coaches one young woman to speak English by asking her to carefully repeat to the librarian behind the desk word for word whatever he whispers to her.

"I love America, and I am trying to learn English," he whispers to the young woman who repeats it dutifully to the librarian.

"My teacher is very old," he whispers again.

His students love his humor and respond by relaxing and learning. "It helps for people to learn just a few key phrases and to have interaction with others they're not acquainted with," Bill says.

He helps a young Vietnamese man pass his citizenship test and another young man from Cuba learn enough English to become gainfully employed.

Worried that he will come across as a "Goody Two Shoes", Bill is anxious to insist that his work is rewarding because it keeps him interested and busy in retirement. "It's much different than when I was still working at the office. Then I'd just want to come home after a long day and sit on Mary's lap."

"Oh Bill," Mary laughs. "Don't say that. Somebody'll think it's true."

One of his current projects, Bill explains, is building birdhouses and bookcases in the little shop that his son Tom has helped him to erect in his garage at Riverside. Bill gives the birdhouses away, but he has filled a bookcase with paperbacks he collects at rummage sales and makes a gift of it to a low income housing project.

He tells the manager of the facility, "Just call me Marian the Librarian."

After reading a story in the Denver Post about "Little Free Libraries", small shelved boxes of books posted at street corners of various low income neighborhoods, Bill is keen to try it in Grand Island.

"I'm not really a great guy for doing this," his eyes twinkle. "I'm just trying to fight boredom."

Dr.Bill Grange says his life has been a joy, but he's worked at it. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world," he says. "I was able to do the work I love, and I was able to marry the woman I love."

And the simple truth is, he really is a great guy.